im not 21 please dont say the A word around me.
anchovies
great im going to be grounded now i hope your happy
(via i-embrace-the-weird)
a commercial for dominos was just on and i guess i was lovingly staring at the tv because my mom says to my dad “i wish you still looked at me like haley’s looking at that pizza”
(via thevoicecalledcheesecake)
a male celebrity can literally beat his girlfriend half to death and still enjoy a successful career with millions of adoring fans
a female celebrity can gain a few pounds and she’s shunned, mocked, and ridiculed by thousands of people over many different mediums
do you see the problem with this
a female celebrity JUMPS INTO THE OCEAN TO RESCUE HER CHILD AND NANNY
and is mocked and ridiculed for a wardrobe malfunction
(via asunsetdream)
- teacher:
what happened? you've never failed. i'm disappointed in you, you don't even hand in work anymore.
- me:
sorry.
- parents:
you don't appreciate anything.
- me:
sorry.
- friends:
you're too depressing.
- me:
sorry.
- ex:
i never could really love you.
- me:
sorry.
- mother:
have you gained weight?
- me:
i don't know, sorry..
- everyone:
stop being anti-social, stop being lazy, stop screwing around, grow up, stop attention seeking, stop bitching, stop, stop, stop.
- me:
sorry....
We had to shave our cat because she had mats in her fur. But then she was cold. So we bought her a sweater.
It also came with a little hat.
My cat hates me.
*dead*
(Source: 5liferuiningbastards, via myprivatesanity)
Whenever I get period cramps
I have never seen something so accurate in all my life…
do periods really hurt? In 5th grade sex ed, we learned that it didn’t hurt.
Did that teacher get fired?
I feel like that teacher should get murdered
Hmm, I can only WONDER what was that teacher’s biological sex was
(via scream-to-b3-heard)
Dont cry, dont cry, dont cry, dont cry, dont cry..
oh shit…
